Watchmen

I never read comic books growing up, so this post will be devoid of parallels to the “graphic novel” origins of this story. By the way, nerds, a “graphic novel” is a comic book that just happens to be longer than 22 pages, so fuck off in pretending that it’s literature. I don’t care if this movie “totally betrayed the storyline of the original” or if that one thing the blue guy with the cock said was in some way inaccurate. FUCK. OFF.

To quote Jim Gaffigan: “You know what I liked about the movie? No reading.”

When it came out in theaters I had never heard of the Watchmen and was wholly unaware of the anticipation for the movie. But it looked interesting. It was dark, brooding, angry and hostile. My kind of deal. Plus Malin Akerman is in it and holy shit the things I would pretend that I was capable of doing to that woman sexually. In reality I would run screaming from the room if I was ever in that situation, but in my head I could go for hours.

Moving on to something less frightening for everyone involved…

The movie was too long. It just was. There is no excuse for a movie to be 162 minutes long. I understood it with the LOTR movies because we knew there were going to be three of them and there was a shitload of material to cover. They could have shaved 45 minutes off the movie by simply cutting out Kelly Leek’s tortured walks about town.

Something else that bothered me was how these seemingly normal people (save for Dr. Manhattan and his wang) became superheroes. There was never any explanation into what, if any, superpowers they had or how they came about them or anything. Like…what did Nightowl do, exactly? Was he like the Donatello of the group that “does machines”?

But despite those two little factors — actually, I am not totally sure what was going on either. For those who haven’t seen it I won’t get into the plot, but for some reason Richard Nixon is still president in 1985 on his fifth term or something and I mean what the fuck is that? I spent the first 138 minutes asking myself why the fuck Nixon was president in 1985.

No but seriously, on to the stuff I liked…

The violence was good. Over the top and nasty. Excellent. Malin Akerman naked. Excellent. Superhero costumes. Meh. The costumes were so unassuming and 50s-ish I thought I was watching The Hudsucker Proxy.

The parts of the story that I did understand were compelling and neat. If you like superhero movies and the dude that did 300 and Sin City, you will like this. However, Carla Gugino should never be cast as an aging grandmother. When I saw her I wept.

I had waited a long time for this to come to DVD because I was very much looking forward to it. I rented it the day it came out and it was actually a great deal better than I expected. I kind of figured since I didn’t know the background that I wouldn’t get involved with it. But it was really good. I kind of expected to not like it, but I was pleasantly surprised. Despite the things that I didn’t understand, I still give it a very strong score. I would watch it again, which I guess is the real test of how good a movie is.

Score – 84

Yet another bulk review…

I have slacked off in my ‘watch-a-movie-rate-a-movie’ promise to myself, but the time has come to lay off the slacking for the next hour or so. You know the drill by now.

Bolt

The WALL-E craze that consumed all last year left Disney-Pixar’s other 2008 entry in the dumpster. I don’t really know why. Yeah, this one is more geared towards kids I suppose, being that it’s about a talking dog and a little girl, but it still had all the elements that make these movies excellent. Bolt is voiced by John Travolta which instantly damages the film’s potential, but since you don’t see his disgusting Scientologist assclown face it comes off fine. The girl is voiced by another person I don’t care about, Miley Cyrus, but since I have never seen her do anything nor do I care to, her voice was not recognizable enough to distract me from the task at hand. Everyone told me how sad WALL-E was and that it would probably make me cry. It didn’t. Bolt, however, came a lot closer to this goal. Since I know a lot of people who won’t watch movies where animals die I’ll go ahead and spoil the fact that Bolt does not die. But it is very touching. The hamster is fucking gold too in his little ball. He is the Wallace Shawn T-Rex of this one. Very good movie.

Score – 85

High Tension

Holy jeez if France doesn’t make some fucked up movies, folks. Following in the vein of ‘Inside’ and ‘Them,’ the majority of this movie has to do with sadistic killings, poorly-lit expanses and skin-crawling brutality. The cover of the DVD gives you a small taste of what is in store. A chick holding part of a barbed-wire fence with the wire coiled around it for extra fuck-you-up power is a pretty outstanding way to get your attention. Anyways, the movie is about that chick (Marie) and her friend Alex (also a chick despite the dude name), getting away from their party lifestyle at college to study in the quiet privacy of Alex’s home (which is conveniently in the middle of nowhere –  as is the case in all of these French movies). Some dude shows up and let the corn syrup flow! He takes Alex to likely make her into a sex slave before he kills her (as a particularly horrible scene earlier in the film foreshadows). The whole movie is based on Marie trying to catch the fucked up stranger and get her friend back. It’s a pretty memorable ending when you find out what is going on, but that is all I will say about it. Afterwards you will be left with some unanswered questions which still kind of bother me as I write this. Some things just don’t really make sense, but anyways…If you like extremely bloody slasher/horror flicks, you can’t go wrong here.

Score – 80

[REC]

For some reason this didn’t release on DVD until last week. That makes a heap of sense considering it was made years ago. Anyways, this is a Spanish film that inspired ‘Quarantine’ here in the states last year. Since I saw ‘Quarantine’ first I was pretty unhappy that this movie was comedically exact in its unfolding. If I had seen [REC] first I would have liked it a great deal more than I did, but with how deliberately the original was copied it just kind of made me mad. I was hoping for enough of a change to make some tiny bit of difference. Overall I would say this one was a tiny bit better, but only because it came first (that’s what she said).

Score – 75

(footage in [REC] trailer is not actual movie footage. just a teaser)

Top 10 of 2008-09: A Look Back

Yeah, so these movies are not all from the last calendar year. In fact there are only three that were made in 2008, but that’s not the point. These are the 10 best movies I have seen in the last year. No one wants a long-winded blog (especially about movies I have already talked about in previous blogs (mostly)), so here is an abridged version of a top 10 list.

#10 – Run Lola Run (Germany, 1998)

My film-obsessed friends tell me that this movie is required viewing in film school. I can see why. I rarely like or dislike a movie based on style, but the use of style simply cannot be overlooked here. This film is a shining beacon of when everything cool comes together to make something truly unique and awesome. To say anything about the movie would divulge too much and would take away from your enjoyment of it. If you haven’t seen it, go get it right now. You might not have a better 80-minute stretch all year.

#9 – Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance (South Korea, 2002)

After watching all the movies in Chan-wook Park’s revenge trilogy (which also included Oldboy and Lady Vengeance), it was this one that stood out as the best in my opinion. The great thing about the trilogy is that if you asked 50 people who saw all three movies you would probably get a pretty even split as far as the one they named their favorite. Desperation, revenge and a seriously memorable ending make this an absolute killer of an experience.

#8 – The Host (South Korea, 2006)

“One of the best monster movies ever made” it says on the cover of the DVD (which I now own). I’d have to say I agree. The underlying theme in the movie is love, which might sound lame, but trust me it works. The metamorphosis of the main character from loser with a sleeping disorder to a badass monster hunter is tremendously entertaining and pleasing. The monster was pretty cool too.

#7 – The Dark Knight (USA, 2008)

I will get shit from some people for having it so “low” on this list. This is not a demotion; it was indeed one of the best movies I have seen in the last year. I have watched it several times and will continue to do so in coming years. Heath Ledger’s performance will forever be linked to his death, but that is unfair. His portrayal of The Joker is one of the most memorable and frightening in recent memory. Finally someone captured the essence of the character without turning it into a cartoon (I’m looking at you, Tim Burton and Jack Nicholson).

#6 – In Bruges (UK, 2008)

It’s just really good. It’s funny, touching at times and fucking brilliant at others. I don’t like Colin Farrell but he was awesome in this. It was the role he was born to play. Brendan Gleeson is incapable of making a bad movie. I won’t believe he can until I see it happen. The absurd amount of swearing that comes from Ralph Fiennes added a hysterical touch as well. Midgets and hot Belgian chicks and guns? Yeah, try and say no.

#5 – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (USA, 2004)

I was one of the last people to see this, so I won’t say much about it. Just that it was nearly perfect and it fucking wrecked me when I watched it. I don’t know that I’ve ever been as simultaneously sad and engrossed as I was during this. Jim Carrey has acting chops, folks. Also I heart Kate Winslet.

#4 – Battle Royale (Japan, 2001)

Fuckawesome. That is the word I made up to describe it. I shall own it soon. It is almost too good, really. I need to see it again. It is absolutely a necessity. Wanna watch asshole teenagers off each other in a sort-of bloody gameshow? I know you do. So do it.

#3 – Tell No One (France, 2006)

This was everything that thrillers try to be but usually fail. You cannot take your eyes away from it. From scene one to scene last it pulls you in and doesn’t let go. The use of music is goddamn perfect and the twisty-turny plot will fuck you up. I guarantee it. You have no idea how it will end when you watch it.

#2 – Cloverfield (USA, 2007)

Just see it. If you don’t like it, fine. I don’t like you. If you can’t enjoy something this fun and over the top then you are a useless sack of shit and deserve to die. Well maybe I won’t go that far, but I loved every second of this. It’s a movie you’ll remember long after it’s over.

#1 – Let the Right One In (Sweden, 2008)

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

This.

Movie.

Is.

Perfect.

I won’t say it again. See it. See it. See it.

Slumdog Millionaire

I have grown tired of my own brand of reviewing, so I am going to switch it up into more of an essay style without subheads and endless italicization. I’ll give you a short review, my thoughts and a few teasers (hopefully steering clear of spoilers) along the way.

Slumdog Millionaire (<–see? fuck italics) won every award imaginable and was hailed the must see movie of the last 80 years or something. I was more than happy to give it a shot considering I have never disliked a Danny Boyle movie. Trainspotting, 28 Days Later and Sunshine are just a few of his releases that have been obscenely good.

So, let’s start with the bad news…

It is not the best movie I have ever seen, nor was it the best movie of the year as far as I’m concerned. The hype that preceded my viewing of it may have altered my feelings towards it in some way. This has happened before. I was told that WALL-E would change my life and make me cry and recapture my childhood and all that. It didn’t, it didn’t and I haven’t. It was just a good movie. Really good, in fact.

Such is the journey of Slumdog.

Seeing as how I was one of the last people on earth to see the goddamn thing, I will skip the outline and just give my thoughts.

The first hour dragged on and on and on and failed to capture my attention wholly. I didn’t care about anything the brothers did as kids and it ended up playing like a fucking social studies film about Indians living in squalor.

I also don’t get how the love story developed. There is basically no time spent on the burgeoning romance and instead it just appears and we are to nod along and go with it. He’s in love with her because he knew her for a short time as a child? I don’t get it. Anyways, moving on.

But then the second half happened…

Beginning with the scene in the bathroom at Who Wants to be a Millionaire? (which I won’t go into for those who have yet to see it) the movie takes off and never stops. The last half hour was as good as movies get as it takes your hand and guides you through the entire gamut of emotions.

After the movie I was a fricking wreck. I’ll steer clear of the fact that Freida Pinto would never go out with someone who looks like Dev Patel and just let you know that the end of this movie is what so many films aspire to create, almost none of which are as successful.

I am confused as to why it is rated R, as there was pretty much no cussing, nudity or violence. Certainly not enough to warrant an R. If Forrest Gump (a movie with nudity, cussing and violence) got away with a PG-13, this should have too.

Score – 80

The good news…

It was a very good movie. The payoff is more than enough to make up for the DMV documentary that is the first half. I recommend it; just don’t set yourself up with expectations that simply won’t be met.

Trailer (complete with Roger Ebert using my favorite review phrase ‘triumph’)

Bulk Review

The Signal

I knew nothing of this movie coming in but it was one of the watch instantly deals and the premise sounded wicked sweet. Basically a signal shows up and starts playing on every TV and radio, and the sound of it makes people [how do I say this...] go shitcorn crazy. The movie is about a woman (who is cheating on her husband) trying to escape from the madness and meet her lover for a permanent departure. Her insane husband is tracking her though. Creepy. The movie is very unsettling and fantastically violent, but in the middle it inexplicably turns into a sort of twisted version of a 1950s comedy for about 20 minutes. It’s hard to explain but it is very, very cool. If you watch it you will know what I’m talking about. After that bit it turns back into a horror/thriller film again. Anyways, I really liked it. Delightfully weird and bloody. I gave it five stars on Netflix’s rating deal.

Score – 80

Teeth

I was looking forward to seeing this for a long time. The idea of it is so outrageously unpleasant that it simply begs to be seen. A teenage girl is part of an abstinence program that goes to schools and tells kids about how waiting to have sex until marriage is the thing to do. Promise rings, all that jazz. Well, she kinda falls for a guy who is also in the group and they start fooling around. I won’t give away what happens, but sufficing to say that the girl has vaginal dentures (ie vagina dentata). Through a series of events she finds that she can control when the teeth come out, which leads to many, many horrifying moments for any males watching it. It is incredibly funny and well done, though. The last scene in the movie will make you feel gross and then suddenly really giddy. I highly recommend it. It sounds silly I know, but it really is a good movie.

Score – 83

American Zombie

I had never heard of this one either, but if there is one thing I love it’s zombies. The premise sounded pretty cool. A documentary team goes out and films a local zombie community and finds out about their lives. (In the movie zombies are pretty much human and hold jobs as such) It is shot in documentary style with camcorders and the actual implementation of the film is well done. Unfortunately it is neither funny nor entertaining. When you hear ‘mockumentary’ in a film’s description you think of Best in Show and the like. However, this one just ended up frustrating me. When I watch a zombie movie I want copious amounts of bloody goo, ripping flesh and fucked up corpses. You don’t get any of that here. Not really anyway. It wasn’t an awful movie, I just see no reason why anyone would want to see it after watching it myself.

Score – 60

The Evil Dead

Yeah I know I’m about 35 years late on this one, but you can shove it. I am on a foreign kick at the moment with movies I rent out and I can just never seem to pull the trigger on movies more than 20 years old when I’m making my queue. But this, too, was an instant watch so I went for it. I am sure that most people who want to see this movie have, so I’ll just sum it up briefly: friends -> cabin -> some creepy tape wakes the dead -> friends start dying -> Bruce Campbell fucks shit up -> The End. It is over-the-top cheesy violence and total camp out the ass, but it is a glorious thing. Now all I have to do is watch the second and third parts of the trilogy. Sadly, they are not available to watch instantly.

Score – 80

Trailers

The Signal

Teeth

American Zombie

Evil Dead (skip to 1:41 for Pee-Wee’s Playhouse-style gore effects)

Battle Royale

There will be little room to misunderstand this entry. In fact I’ll just tell you right now; this movie is so fucking good that it actually hurts my feelings a little bit. It’s the 2001 Japanese film Battle Royale.

The Story

I am going to run this down and you are already going to want to watch it. I give you permission to leave WHILE reading this to go rent/move to the top on Netflix/buy this goddamn movie.

Ok, so…

Basically Japan has gone to shit (a la 1990 Russia) and Japan’s kids are assholes who make life miserable for the adults. Schools are in the shitter and pretty much all is fucked. So naturally the government green lights a program where one class (chosen at random) is taken under the guise of a “school trip,” then drugged and hauled off to partake in what might be the most entertaining two hours I have had since that time porn randomly showed up on PBS that one time.

One of the best scenes in recent memory has the kids sitting in a room watching an initiation video to the game starring the cutest goddamn woman I have ever seen. Damn those tiny, cute Japanese. She looked like Fook Mi from Austin Powers. The kids are told that they have to kill each other until only one is left alive.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that they are on a deserted island and they are all wearing explosive necklaces that will explode after three days expire. So…the killing has to be done fast.

The Cast

All you need to know is that the chick who played Go-Go in Kill Bill is in it. Yeah, the one dressed as a Catholic school girl with the wicked mace-on-a-chain deal. When I saw her I nearly shit myself. She is one of the 42 students looking out for number 1.

What it reminds me of…

This is about as well as I can sum it up. It’s like Lord of the Flies meets the English deportation of criminals to Australia (if they gave all of the criminals a knapsack containing a map, compass, flashlight, food, water and a weapon). And fuck me if every person doesn’t get a different weapon. Some awesome; some useless.

Effectiveness

This movie is brutal. You don’t fuck around with Asian movies. There is going to be disturbing shit that will make you happy and nauseous simultaneously. But I really don’t think anyone could find fault with it. The subtitles are at times amusingly Engrish-y, but you get over it quickly. The use of music, flashbacks, character development, etc. makes it a very personal experience.

Because I mean…put yourself in the situation. How do you act?

At first you say that this is crazy and you won’t kill your friends/classmates. Groups emerge to protect one another and pick off loners and steal their supplies. But what happens when that clock starts running down and only one can survive? What do you do? It’s an amazing idea, really. Sadistic and disturbing, sure. But fuck me it is compelling as all get out.

Battle Royale score

95 - Oh that’s right, I went there. Ninety-fucking-five. I cannot say it any clearer. I am not fucking with you right now. I don’t want to hear any of your bullshit. Go get a copy of this in whatever way you see fit and watch the hell out of it. I am going to buy this and force every single goddamn friend I have to watch it. That could take as long as eight hours, but I shall persevere. I am blown away. BLOWN, I say!

Theatrical Trailer

Blockbuster Bulk Review

I am not going to review these movies because everyone who wants to see them has already done so. These are just some blockbusters that I had not seen until recently.

Iron Man score – 83 (Awesome)

Transformers – 68 (Meh. Michael Bay is a douchebag.)

WALL-E – 80 (Really good)

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance

Today I will finish up Chan-wook Park’s revenge trilogy with my review of the final chapter, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance.

The Story

The movie follows Geum-Ja, a woman recently released from a 13-year prison sentence for kidnapping and murdering a 5-year-old boy. But when she gets out it is she who goes on the revenge trip. But wait, why would a woman who confessed to the murder of a little boy and was justifiably put in prison subsequently go on a revenge binge upon release? Well that’s the question isn’t it? I’m not going to tell you because you’re not supposed to know. I didn’t know before I watched it, so who the fuck are you to think that you deserve special treatment? Go fuck yourself. All I will say is that there are many twisty turnies that will mess your shit up.

The Cast

The main character is a new face. She’s gorgeous. This fact actually plays a large role in the film. The main bad guy is the main character from Oldboy, but it isn’t distracting. I wasn’t even sure it was him until I looked it up on IMDB. Both the deaf-mute from Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and continuously-murdered-daughter guy from Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and The Host are in it too, albeit briefly. Once again, everyone was great. Couldn’t ask for more from the actors.

What it reminds me of…

It’s interesting, because this movie (the last in the trilogy) takes pieces from the first two and kind of shoehorns them into a third. Some of the Oldboy elements include: a prison sentence for a seemingly unassuming protagonist, an all out hunt for the person that wronged them; Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance: well, the title is pretty much the same, a young girl figures prominently; and as was the case in both of the other movies, the last 15 minutes or so will hang with you for a bit.

Effectiveness

Well, I won’t lie to you; this movie is definitely the slowest-moving of the three. There is less going on most of the time than in the other two, but it ended up being pretty much on par with the others. This one takes more time to develop the reason for the revenge instead of being a two-hour-long somewhat normal movie before turning into a clusterfuck of bombshells in the last 15 minutes. I will say that this has the most crowd-pleasing brand of ultimate revenge. It happens in a way that we all deep down would love to be a part of if ever put in the situation. While it is the most ‘boring’ so to speak, it was still masterfully done. There is a lot of rape in it, which was fantastically unpleasant, but those guys at Asia Extreme don’t fuck around.

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance score

80 – Still better than almost everything put out here, but it is probably the weakest of the trilogy. I am going to find out if they sell the trilogy in a box set and buy it. Loved it all. In the end, Oldboy will probably be the one you remember the most, but all three are dangerously good.

Theatrical Trailer

P.S. – Some places it is called Lady Vengeance, but whatever. The DVD calls it ‘Sympathy for’. Doesn’t matter.

Tell No One

Shockingly, here comes another foreign film!!! Gimme a break, I never watched foreign movies before really, so I have had some catching up to do. This time it is the French movie Tell No One. This was another one that I watched on my computer, so if you have Netflix and it sounds good to you, go ahead and watch it right on there.

The Story

This will take a while, but I will try to divulge as little as possible.

A man and his wife are having some fun at a secluded lake (skinny dipping, fucking, possibly water sports) when suddenly they have an argument. Despite the fact that the argument is in French (and therefore SEXAY), the wife swims away and disappears into the darkness.

(scream)

Never a good sign to have a horrifying scream so soon into a movie. The wife is murdered (that is not a spoiler — you’ll see it in the trailer) and the husband is exonerated, but remains a suspect in many people’s minds. The only people who know he didn’t do it are him and, well, you. The rest of the movie takes place eight years later when two bodies are found near the same lake, once again shining a light of suspicion on the husband.

Husband gets a strange email with a link. When he clicks it it takes him to a live security camera broadcast where a woman who looks remarkably like his murdered wife looks at the camera purposefully. The message in the email reads “Tell no one. They are watching.”

Did your skin just do the goosebump thing? I bet it did…

The Cast

The main character looks alarmingly like Dustin Hoffman, which really started to get on my nerves at times. I kept expecting him to count toothpicks or demand Peter Pan. He is incredible, though. Your heart will break for him and his fight for the truth will make you cheer. The wife (who is supposed to be the same age as the husband) is clearly 15 years younger so I don’t know what the problem was there. Kristin Scott Thomas plays a lesbian restaurant owner (and is either the main character’s sister or sister-in-law, I honestly can’t remember) who is married to a smoking hot equestrian girl (who is either the sister or sister-in-law). I don’t know what it is about Thomas, but she gets exponentially hotter with age. In one scene she walks around nude after a shower and, while you don’t see any of her sexy parts, I wanted to have relations with her in a tub of melted butter. The dog (a Briard) is pretty fucking money too.

Reminds me of…

What thrillers try to be. Why the hell does every other country make consistently better movies than we do? It’s getting fucking irritating. I wish I didn’t like all these foreign films so much. It just makes me think of how shitty 95% of all our movies are. France makes this, Korea makes Oldboy and we make shit like Fighting, Meet the Spartans and Soul Plane.

Effectiveness

I don’t know that I have ever been so engrossed in a plot before. And while there are so many plot twists that my testicles actually fell off half way through, everything is damn near perfect. For a movie to be effective you have to feel what the characters in the movie are feeling. You will.

The Soundtrack

I have never talked about a soundtrack on here before, but this movie has a badass one. Otis Redding, Jeff Buckley and an especially unforgettable scene involving U2’s “With or Without You” bring the movie to life. I shit you not about the U2 part. Shit will rev you up.

Tell No One score

90 – Loved it. While the aforementioned plot twists are likely to hurt your brain as the foreign language flies at you, there really is not much bad I can say about this film. I am going to tell everyone who gives a flying shit about my taste in movies (there might be one, you don’t know) to watch it immediately. I honestly can’t think of anything that keeps the score at ‘only’ 90, other than the fact that it takes a Lord of the Rings situation to bust out into the upper 90s. See it and thank me later.

Theatrical Trailer

Yeah…IMDB confirms the age gap:

Husband – 53 (Francois Cluzet)

Wife – 39 (Marie-Josee Croze)

That is the only weakness in the movie I guess.

Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance

When I rented Oldboy I was unaware that it was actually the second film in what has been dubbed director Chan-wook Park’s “Revenge Trilogy”. I liked Oldboy a lot, but this news pretty much pissed me off. Seeing the second part of a trilogy first is fucking lame. However, in this case it is ok. It is ok because while the movies are technically a trilogy, none of the movies are actually related to one another. They are simply three movies that are based on kick-ass revenge. But seeing as how I liked Oldboy a great deal, I had to go back and check out the other two. First being the first of the trilogy, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance. That title is a little bit Engrish-y, but whatever.

The Story

This is a bit hard to explain because the movie ends up having four or five main storylines. But here goes. The main character is a deaf guy named Ryu. He has a sister who is very sick and in need of a transplant. The problem is that the waiting list is long and she may not survive. He finds some people on the black market who sell organs, but he doesn’t have enough to buy it. For the amount of money he has they tell him that if he donates his kidney they will find a donor kidney for sissy. Shockingly, the people take his money and kidney and disappear. Then Ryu gets fired from his job. Then the hospital calls him in and explains that a donor kidney is now available for his sister (for the exact price he just gave to the black market scammers). Awesome. Following me? OK. Ryu and his girlfriend (a revolutionary chick) decide to kidnap the daughter of the boss who just fired him and hold her for ransom. From there shit gets out of control and I will not ruin your viewing of it any further.

The Cast

Strangely enough, I am familiar with two of the actors in the movie. I have watched three Korean films (The Host, Oldboy and Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance) and I have already seen the same actors. The main character from The Host plays the boss whose daughter is kidnapped, and the revolutionary girlfriend chick was the sister/archer in the same movie. You see her tits in this one. Not bad, Korea. The acting is great, so no complaints there. However, they have got to stop giving this guy a daughter in his movies. It only leads to kidnapping and eaten by monsters.

Reminds me of…

Well, Oldboy is what it reminds me of. The story is in no way the same, but the brand of revenge done in torturous, agonizing and brilliantly shocking fashion are very reminiscent.

Effectiveness

Make no mistake, you will not feel good while watching this movie. It is perhaps a notch below Oldboy in the ‘oh fuck I feel dirty’ department, but it is intense and oh-so-memorable. You will feel this one on you the next day. And while the dirt factor is a little less, there is a lot more revenge going around. When you see it you’ll know what I mean.

Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance score

85 – I gotta tell you, I am enthralled by these revenge movies. Everything is done right. The cast, the plot, the methods of revenge. Incredible. I also like the way that this movie makes you figure some stuff out on your own. There will be parts where you say ‘wait, what? why did that happen?’ But think about it and you’ll get it. The movie doesn’t treat you like you’re an idiot. In the end, only one person really gets revenge. But the ride getting there is explosive. This one of course has subtitles, so if you’re too stupid to read while you watch, then kindly take a long walk off a tall building. This one is nearly in ‘must own’ territory. I would watch it over and over.

Theatrical Trailer

P.S. – No, there is no typo. This was indeed made before Oldboy, so I don’t know why it is advertised on the poster and in the trailer as ‘by the director of Oldboy’. Check the release dates for yourselves, dickheads.